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How to find ‘ME TIME’ as a Mom

There are times where I go through life and motherhood without thinking of myself. We all do it, we sacrifice for the greater good of our families. My family takes up a lot of my time. I’m trying my hand at being a career woman, a wife, and a blogger and of course a mommy. Being a woman should actually come first. Making myself a priority should come first. I feel like I should be taking care of myself more, because if I don’t take of myself how am I expected to take care of everything else I’ve got going on. This month we are celebrating WOMEN and hopefully, this post will help you to make yourself a priority. All of these points are a great way of finding me-time in an otherwise crazy world.

Wake up before everyone else does

This is very hard to do especially if you have had long nights with sick children or you have a deadline that must be met. I feel like this is vital though, getting that few minutes in where you can be alone, relax and unwind.

In this time I like to plan the day, prepare lunch and drink my tea in peace. Sometimes I like to get in the last minute workout I wasn’t able to do the day before. I try to set my alarm for 30 minutes earlier than the alarm to wake up the kids. Lots of women say 5:30 am is the ideal time to get up. This is a little too early for me.

Do something for yourself when the kids go to bed

If waking up earlier is not your thing then maybe having some me time when all the kids are asleep. This requires a bit of planning. Like the kids must go to bed at a set time and it must be early, and a routine is implemented which takes time. So maybe, try and get a routine going for a few months before having your me-time. Although I’m sure at this point moms have routines set from birth already so that won’t be an issue. You will reap the rewards of me-time when your routine is set and your kids are fast asleep.

If I’m not able to wake up earlier and have some time available after the kids have gone to bed, my favourite thing to do is watch series.

Sometimes it’s okay to include your kids into me-time

Yes, you heard me. Create me time where your kids can be involved. I regard working out as me-time too. So I try and incorporate exercises where the kids can join me.

I love dancing workouts and Tazkia absolutely loves doing those workouts with me. Zia and Yameen have joined in on the fun. You can find my Instagram page where I post dance workouts and my progress pictures. You can find it here

Make yourself a priority

This is another thing that can be hard because there is way too little time during the day and there is so much to do. and i know you thinking – But Abieda how can I make myself a priority?

•It’s okay to say no sometimes, you don’t always have to please people.
•Get enough sleep, yes you heard me.
•Find your balance, by this I mean there should be a balance between mom life, work life and self-care. How can you look after the people that you love if you aren’t looking after yourself?

Budget a monthly treat

You work hard so you should totally budget some money for a treat every month. No matter how big or small. Retail therapy is a fantastic way of making yourself a priority. How many times have you looked at a pair of jeans and then looked at vests for your child and go with the vest instead of the jeans? More times than not I’m sure.

I’ve done it plenty of times. I’d rather spend that extra money that I may have on my kids than on me. So now I dedicated a certain amount of money that I spend on myself each month. I’m obsessed with make-up and body care. So when I’m in the shower lathering up my body with my new shower oil that I bought with the money I dedicated to treating myself, that feeling just makes everything else worth it. It’s the little things sometimes.

Find help

I’ve never been one to feel embarrassed about asking for help. Whether it’s my in-laws or sisters. They are always eager to help because they know I don’t do it often and they know parenting little children is hard and we all need a break sometimes. I’m one of the lucky ones that have a support system that I can rely on. I’m aware that not everyone has that support. I have a reliable and awesome nanny that looks after my kids. I trust her with my children and have been with me for a long time. Trust obviously comes with time. Thing is though, you won’t know until you ask, you never know if your family and friends will be eager to help until you ask. I’m sure they want to see you happy and succeed.

Schedule ‘me time’

Plan. Plan. Plan. Yes, you need to. Plan that hair appointment that you so desperately need. Or set a time to spend “Boeber” time with your husband. This is vital especially for people who have little children whose needs and demands must be met at all times.

We normally have set days for us-time. I plan them around when I need wash my hair, or after I have prayed. Muslims will know lol. Of course, we strived to spontaneity but it’s not always possible.

Schedule in time to put on make-up and do your hair

I get it when you are always rushing to get the kids done and as well as yourself, a lot of the time your make-up or hair has to be put on the back burner. I struggle with this too especially with my hair. There is always something that must be done before I can get myself dressed.

I try to get the kids done first like packing a bag and feeding the little one, making sure the girls are ready for school.  One of my favourite things to do is spend a little extra time in the shower and apply my make-up. I have a make up section in my bathroom where I store my daily makeup for easy access. My daily skin care routine is also really important to me. I absolutely love body care products and I find that moisturizing my body to be really relaxing and pampering.

Go on date nights

Date nights (and sometimes date days) are a great way to spend time with your significant other. I’m guilty of not initiating spending time together more. Money always plays a factor for us. We don’t always have that extra money to go on date nights. But really it’s not what you do but rather that you spend the time together. Right?

Some suggestions for date nights:
•When all the kids are asleep, watch a movie and take out the snacks and watch a movie together
•Take a walk on the beach
•Have a picnic at your favourite spot
•Go for coffee at a cute coffee shop

Re-connect with your girlfriends

How many of you have been going through life, just with your family and find yourself with something missing? That connection you and your closest girlfriends had before you became a mommy. How many of you decline to have your friends over because your house is a mess and you don’t want your friends to see that you don’t have your shit together? How many of you have friends who have never even seen your kids yet? Well, it’s never too late. Make that call. Don’t decline the next time your friend asks to see you. Re-connect with your friends, you do need the support. You need someone who can just listen, that can laugh or cry with you and that will tell you that it’s going to be alright. Making time for your girlfriends is vital for your well-being and sanity.

Every few months, sometimes years my friends and I will have lunch or breakfast. Our outing always involves food. The last time my friends and I got together we went to a high tea at a hotel. The food was delicious and the company was awesome. My tank was filled that day for sure.

If you go onto my  Splendid Ink  website you will be able to plan your me-time better with my weekly planners, to do lists, grocery list, recipe sheet and lots more. #supportwomen #supportlocal #splendidink

Let me know what you do for me time. Do you have a pamper routine? Do you still see your old friends?

Until next time x


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