My thoughts on Co-Sleeping

When I first became pregnant with the twins, I was adamant from the get go that the girls would be sleeping in their cots, in our room, but never with us in the bed. I read a lot about sleep training and what experiences other moms were going through with their kids who also by the way said that there was no way their kids were going to sleep in the bed with them either. All articles I was reading at the time said that co-sleeping is BAD; you can suffocate your child by laying on them without knowing. Here’s the thing though, if you are so tired and exhausted from hours of working and nurturing your child, that at night you simply fall into a deep sleep and you are not at your complete senses and suffocate your child, something is then terribly wrong with that scenario and you need to get help pronto.

I believe that if you are not on drugs, or drinking any hard alcohol and you are clear minded and sober when you go to bed, and your child is sleeping next to you, how is it possible that you can hurt your child? It just doesn’t make sense to me.

I do understand that everyone’s situation is different and there is simply no one else that can help some of you, so you are doing everything on your own because the support structure is just not there but something’s got to give, you need the rest and take a break now and then, for you sanity, emotional being and overall wellness.

Okay, but have you not heard of freak accidents Abieda?

Yes, I know freak accidents can happen, and I will be the first person that will say, I literally sleep with one eye open just in case, also my husband is also in bed with us, so there is another set of eyes and ears available in case of any crying or moaning or whatever. Gosh and sometimes one of the girls are also in bed with us, if one of them had a nightmare or if one of them is sick etc.

I know it can all be so exhausting, by 2pm during the day I can barely keep my eyes open. Luckily I have a nanny that can take over if I need a break.

Okay but what if I don’t have any help and I’m the only one that looks after the baby?

You have a mom and sister right or a husband. There are times when my husband will look after baby until 12am in the morning, so that I can get some sleep in before “night shift” kicks in and I have to be on call. He works so I give him that time to sleep and he will do the early morning time slot, which is between 5-7am. You need to work as a team with your husband, because like I said, at no point must you be so tired that something like co-sleeping your baby will make you not trust something that should come naturally to you as a mother.

Why co-sleeping for me works and is great for me and my child:

  • I am creating this unimaginable bond with my child, I am the last person he sees before sleeping and the first person he will see upon waking up. His perfect smile just makes me happy in the morning
  • It’s easy and I am less likely to be exhausted in the morning, getting up and putting Yameen in our bed to feed and putting him to sleep and in his cot every three hours is bloody exhausting.
  • Safety – in the sense that if you are worried about breathing etc. Yameen is right next to me so I can check up on him and make sure everything is alright without even moving from my bed. New moms will get up a million times at night to make sure the baby is breathing. Ask any mom and she will tell you.
  • Just because your baby co-sleeps it doesn’t mean the baby or child will never leave your bed. This is a gradual process and when the child is ready he or she will for sure move over to his or her own beds and rooms. I am confident that my son will be independent and move over to his own bed when he is ready.
  • And no there is no way that you can SPOIL your baby by giving him or her love and affection and allowing him or her to sleep next to you. I sense that when he falls asleep next to me, he is content and feels safe.
  • No!! Co-sleeping does not mean no sex in a marriage, you cannot ruin your relationship because you are co-sleeping your baby, be spontaneous and creative, there isn’t only one bedroom in your home. I live for spontaneity J
  • I think that you need to have a routine and structure whether your child sleeps in your bed or in his or her own bed, there must be structure and a proper bedtime routine. For a long time and still sometimes, the girls will want to fall asleep in our bed and then my husband must move them over to their own room. Most times I’m okay with this because it’s just easier to not have to fight with them. I try to promote calm before sleeping, so that they won’t get nightmares and fall asleep crying and sad, but rather calm and happy.

Some safety tips:

For new-borns: Make sure that there aren’t any pillows, extra blankets and items that can suffocate your child, the blanket that you are covering yourself works fine. You can have a co-sleeper in the bed and the baby on the co-sleeper, that way if you are feeling insecure about whether you are going to roll over your child then the co-sleeper will give you some peace of mind.

Toddlers: you might want to put the mattress on the floor and some comfy foam mats around so if your child falls off the mattress he or she will fall on the foam mats and won’t get hurt. We have the camp cot in our bedroom so that on really hot days we will put baby in the cot. Yameen is still an arm’s length away.

Hope this helps, until next time.


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  1. I love co-sleeping, I personally think it’s the only way to maintain your sanity as a new mom. But I do think it’s so important to practice it safely. As soon as my daughter started crawling we moved our mattress to the floor

    • I really enjoy spending bonding time with my baby, and when he is able he will move into a cot. thanks for connecting x

  2. I loved co sleeping with my little ones and have to agree to creates bond with your kids as they get older. Both my kids are now in their own rooms and beds and its rare that they come crawling into our bed but it happens. Yes, it can be uncomfortable with an 8 year and a 6 year squeezed in at all angles, but I would rather have that than them believe they are not welcome. As parents, we should be their place of comfort if they need a little extra loving in the middle of the night.

    • I agree holding them close is the best feeling ever. Knowing that they are safe in your arms.

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