My Breastfeeding Story

I’ve never had a lot of experience in breastfeeding my kids, I feel like I was robbed of the decision to give the girls breastmilk, I will say though that I understand why the doctors decided to dry up my milk. I do feel though that formula feeding really isn’t a big deal. The girls were hardly ever sick and they picked up quite a bit of weight. After all a fed baby is a hell of a lot better than a starving, unfed baby.

This time around, I was ready to breastfeed baby, however because I had a C-section, I had to take quite a bit of medication, while in hospital and then again at home. While in hospital, I started breastfeeding baby, he didn’t latch on immediately, and when he did, he would literally push my breast away, and start wailing, and the more I try the more he pushed my boobs away. After a while, I had to express because my milk supply was coming in fast and there was no release. I would express only about 100mls at a time, which would be given to baby, then top up with formula if he is still hungry. I tried the whole week I was at the hospital, express around the clock and then feed baby the milk.

When I got home it was easier to express and feed baby the milk, we bought formula just in case of emergencies. While he was drinking the breast milk, he would poop with every single feed. His poop would be so sour and you could see how much pain he was in when he pooped. I googled what new born’s poop should be like and it said that the poop isn’t supposed to have a smell, and the sour smell means that baby could potentially be allergic to something that I am eating. The pediatrician confirmed that baby could be allergic to something in my breast milk causing him to have these crying fits, of what i could only assume was colick (but that’s a whole new blog post for another time) but more than that the amount of milk he was getting wasn’t enough to keep him full, which means that as soon as I fed him the milk I had just expressed he was also always wanting more, and boy was I getting tired of expressing around the clock. This really started taking it tall on me. I had started looking like a freaking zombie because feeding him the way I was feeding him meant I got almost no sleep at night and then I had day shift too. I had help with Zahir being on leave and nanny but breastfeeding moms will know, there isn’t much your partner can help with if you breastfeeding your child.

Effectively on week three I decided on dry up my milk and formula feed baby and by week four he was exclusively on formula milk. He seems to be a lot happier these days, the poops is a weird green colour, odourless and a lot less frequent, which is normal. Now I can only imagine what the die-hard breastfeeding moms must be thinking, but I really did try and I suppose you think I could’ve continued, but no, no I couldn’t.

Until next time

  1. There is no shame to formula feeding. We all need to stop Mom shaming each other and support one another.
    You are doing an amazing job with Yameen.

    • Shukran Cuz, you are so right, we need to support each other and how we choose to parent our kids and you are doing an amazing job with Thanaa xx

  2. My baby is now 7 weeks, exclusively breastfed and it has been incredibly tough. Cluster feeding, sore cracked nipples, sole alone pajama drill and I’m exhausted… so I get you. You’ve tried your hardest and done what’s best for baby and importantly, what’s best for you. No more mom-shaming. You are doing a great job!

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