I had my tubes cut and do I regret it?

It’s no surprise that Yameen was an oopsy. I mean at the time it was a major shock to our system. I saw two lines and panic set in. How could this happen? But then I realised …

I did not use any contraception and its embarrassing to admit. Before you get all judgy on me. Contraception just didn’t work for my system. A few of the symptoms I had were that I was super moody, I picked up a lot of weight and my sex drive was non-existent. It wasn’t from lack of trying, because I’ve tried quite a few different contraception, but I just wasn’t feeling myself when I was on them. I know a few ladies that aren’t on contraception as well for mostly the same reasons.

So anyway, Zahir and I had a decision to make. We had to decide which one of us were going to have ourselves done. Initially we decided it was going to be Zahir but after a conversation with our gynaecologist we decided it was best that I have a sterilization.

Here’s why

  • We decided that we didn’t want any more children like ever again and that we are happy with the three beautiful children we have.
  • This surgery is permanent and changing your mind is not an option
  • It’s the most effective form of contraception and I like the fact that I don’t have to worry about falling pregnant again.
  • I was having major abdominal surgery anyway, so having the sterilization was going to take a few extra minutes.
  • The pain was all the same, I didn’t feel pain in different places and the recovery time was the same.
  • If at some point, however highly unlikely we were desperate to have another baby, we have the IVF option. I’d be able to carry the baby full term but not conceive naturally.
  • The sterilization can be reversed but its expensive and stupid. When we decided that we were going to go ahead with it, we felt confident and happy that we made the right decision. There were no doubts.

What is tubal ligation?

(Picture taken Healthwise Inc. and you can read more about it here)

Tubal ligation or “having your tubes cut or tied” as we know it is basically a procedure to close or block your fallopian tubes. This procedure prevents your egg from travelling down your fallopian tubes and also prevents sperm from hooking up with the egg, thus preventing pregnancy.

How I feel about the surgery?

Sometimes I wonder about what could’ve been if I didn’t have my tubes cut but then I quickly remember all the times I’ve had to fork out money for nappies and formula, having to put my children through a good school and hire a nanny to look after my baby, and I quickly understand why I did it. Having children is expensive.

Do I regret going through with the tubal ligation surgery?

NO, not at all. It doesn’t make me less of a woman and mother. I didn’t lose something great that now I feel like something is missing. Not even the slightest regret.

I’ve brought three beautiful children into this world and it really makes me feel proud that I even got this far. With having a heart condition there were always going to be risks of losing my life or my children’s lives. So, for the mere fact that I was able to fall pregnant and birth my kids is a miracle (with a little help of course). I would very much prefer being alive and be present for three kids than be dead and have Zahir bring up four kids without me. Okay! Sorry that went very dark very quickly. But it’s my reality and the choices I’ve had to make so that my family and I can be together.

Have you had yourself sterilised? Why do you feel it was necessary? Do you regret your decision?

Please let me know by commenting below.

Until next time!

8 Comments
  1. Salaam abieda
    I love this post. I made the decision the minute i found out i was having my second set of twins…no regrets….kids are expensive.

    • Thank you! Wowee two sets of twins, that is amazing! agreed no regrets

  2. We are in the the same situation🤭. We also deciding who should get it done.This pregnancy has been so hard I think the older u get the harder it is on your body. I am still so two minded.. atleast I have till January to decide…

    • Yes, take your time to decide because, once your have the sterilization done, there is no going back. Maybe you can find out about your husband having himself done, because his surgery can be reversed. That could be an option for you too x

  3. loved reading this.. its something i actually thought about a few days ago as hubby and i were discussing it as we also feel content and happy with our 2 girls Algamdulila.. however i heard so many different stories.. some said it was normal.. some said it was so painful, worse than a ceaser.. so i was a bit put off by it.. gynea didnt wana perform it with my c sec as he said im still to young..

    • Thanks babe. I really didn’t feel any worse having the sterilization with the caeser. My recovery was a lot quicker this time around. Algams.

  4. Salaams ladies

    I currently have a mirena inserted and have been bleeding for 2 months now and was at the gynea yesterday and said its normal might still go for 6 months!! my husband is already fuming, the problem for me its my 1st contraception as my blood clots and cannot use any form of contraception’s, so this is the only and best option and Dr says if it cannot settle within me, then we need to talk to hubby to have him done.

    The reason am writing is that with me its different i would love to have another child and make dua, however with my health risk pregnancy i was advise that is not possible, i have two beautiful girls, and also have two angels waiting for me in Jannah. But do other ladies also have this sense of longing and yearning to have another baby,

    Slms

    • I understand completely where you coming from. Having a baby is the best feeling ever and they grow up so fast. With that being said, I’m not in the position to have another baby. Heck I was trying my luck with having Yameen as I was too advised not to have another baby for health reasons. But Allah provides and he makes decisions for you, so what must be must be. I would say if you truly in your heart feel like you will try for another baby, then maybe go with another route.

      All the best hun x

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