I had my tubes cut and do I regret it?

It’s no surprise that Yameen was an oopsy. I mean at the time it was a major shock to our system. I saw two lines and panic set in. How could this happen? But then I realised …

I did not use any contraception and its embarrassing to admit. Before you get all judgy on me. Contraception just didn’t work for my system. A few of the symptoms I had were that I was super moody, I picked up a lot of weight and my sex drive was non-existent. It wasn’t from lack of trying, because I’ve tried quite a few different contraception, but I just wasn’t feeling myself when I was on them. I know a few ladies that aren’t on contraception as well for mostly the same reasons.

So anyway, Zahir and I had a decision to make. We had to decide which one of us were going to have ourselves done. We weighed our options and initially we decided it was going to be Zahir because i felt that i was already going to have a major operation and didn’t want to have any other work done on my body more than i had to but after a conversation with our gynaecologist we thought it was best that I have a sterilization.

Here’s why

  • We thought long and hard about this and decided that we didn’t want any more children like ever again and that we are happy with the three beautiful children we have.
  • This surgery is permanent and changing your mind is not an option
  • It’s the most effective form of contraception and I like the fact that I don’t have to worry about falling pregnant again.
  • I was having major abdominal surgery anyway, so having the sterilization was going to take a few extra minutes. This is why we decided to rather have my tubes cut instead.
  • The pain was all the same, I didn’t feel pain in different places and the recovery time was the same.
  • If at some point, however highly unlikely we were desperate to have another baby, we have the IVF option. I’d be able to carry the baby full term but not conceive naturally.
  • The sterilization can be reversed but its expensive and stupid. When we decided that we were going to go ahead with it, we felt confident and happy that we made the right decision. There were no doubts.

What is tubal ligation?

(Picture taken Healthwise Inc. and you can read more about it here)

Tubal ligation or “having your tubes cut or tied” as we know it is basically a procedure to close or block your Fallopian tubes. This procedure prevents your egg from travelling down your Fallopian tubes and also prevents sperm from hooking up with the egg, thus preventing pregnancy.

How I feel about the surgery?

I have to admit for a minute there i wasn’t sure i was going to make it. I was shit scared of the unknown even though i had gone through the c-section process before, however a bad experience the first time around. But when i walked into the theater room for the second and final time, there was a sense of calm and i had all faith in the Almighty. I had a “what must be” attitude. I was happy, content and ready. Thank goodness all went well and my recovery was quick and easy.

How do I feel about my decision? 

Sometimes I wonder about what could’ve been if I didn’t have my tubes cut. I wonder what implications there would be. Having your tubes cut is so final. Like you cant go back, and you cant fall pregnant on your own. But then I quickly remember all the times I’ve had to fork out money for nappies and formula, having to put my children through a good school and hire a nanny to look after my baby, and I quickly understand why I did it. Having children is expensive.

Our ultimate goal is to live comfortably with our babies. Provide for them and make sure that their health, educational, emotional and physical needs are met.

Of course finance isn’t the only reason for our decision. You have to think about your own health. Are you physically equipped and healthy to look after your children whether its one child or three or five or ten?

Mental health issues is another, hows your sanity? With three children, my household is always messy, loud and crazy. Often i crack and show signs of a breakdown because i cant handle the noise or work load. Cos yes raising children is work and it takes a tribe.

Sometimes I just want some peace and quiet.

Time. Do you have time for yourself? for your relationship with your husband, and friends and the Almighty. Do you have to go back to work? Is there other things you want to do for yourself? Sometimes i feel like there isn’t enough hours in the day for all the stuff i have to get done. I find myself just going through the paces of my life like a headless chicken with no direction. I don’t always have my shit together. I’m always late for everything.

So, managing life with three children is insane (albeit fulfilling, rewarding and a blessing), i cant imagine adding more children to this craziness.

Do I regret going through with the tubal ligation surgery?

NO, not at all. It doesn’t make me less of a woman and mother. I didn’t lose something great that now I feel like something is missing. Not even the slightest regret.

I’ve brought three beautiful children into this world and it really makes me feel proud that I even got this far. With having a heart condition there were always going to be risks of losing my life or my children’s lives. So, for the mere fact that I was able to fall pregnant and birth my kids is a miracle (with a little help of course). I would very much prefer being alive and be present for three children than be dead and have Zahir bring up more children (than we already have) without me if i were to fall pregnant again. Okay! Sorry that went very dark very quickly. This is my reality. The choices we made as a family so that we can all be together.

Have you had yourself sterilized? Why do you feel it was necessary? Do you regret your decision?

Please let me know by commenting below.

Until next time!

8 Comments
  1. Salaam abieda
    I love this post. I made the decision the minute i found out i was having my second set of twins…no regrets….kids are expensive.

    • Thank you! Wowee two sets of twins, that is amazing! agreed no regrets

  2. We are in the the same situation🤭. We also deciding who should get it done.This pregnancy has been so hard I think the older u get the harder it is on your body. I am still so two minded.. atleast I have till January to decide…

    • Yes, take your time to decide because, once your have the sterilization done, there is no going back. Maybe you can find out about your husband having himself done, because his surgery can be reversed. That could be an option for you too x

  3. loved reading this.. its something i actually thought about a few days ago as hubby and i were discussing it as we also feel content and happy with our 2 girls Algamdulila.. however i heard so many different stories.. some said it was normal.. some said it was so painful, worse than a ceaser.. so i was a bit put off by it.. gynea didnt wana perform it with my c sec as he said im still to young..

    • Thanks babe. I really didn’t feel any worse having the sterilization with the caeser. My recovery was a lot quicker this time around. Algams.

  4. Salaams ladies

    I currently have a mirena inserted and have been bleeding for 2 months now and was at the gynea yesterday and said its normal might still go for 6 months!! my husband is already fuming, the problem for me its my 1st contraception as my blood clots and cannot use any form of contraception’s, so this is the only and best option and Dr says if it cannot settle within me, then we need to talk to hubby to have him done.

    The reason am writing is that with me its different i would love to have another child and make dua, however with my health risk pregnancy i was advise that is not possible, i have two beautiful girls, and also have two angels waiting for me in Jannah. But do other ladies also have this sense of longing and yearning to have another baby,

    Slms

    • I understand completely where you coming from. Having a baby is the best feeling ever and they grow up so fast. With that being said, I’m not in the position to have another baby. Heck I was trying my luck with having Yameen as I was too advised not to have another baby for health reasons. But Allah provides and he makes decisions for you, so what must be must be. I would say if you truly in your heart feel like you will try for another baby, then maybe go with another route.

      All the best hun x

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