10:06:14

10:06:14

The day my world turned upside down. No one ever really knows how it feels to lose a parent until it actually happens to you. I lost my dear father on this day, 10:06:14.

It’s a surreal situation where you know his gone but there is that little bit of denial, that tells you he just went out for a bit and that he is coming back and then you quickly realize he is never going to come back, and then you feel sad all over again because you miss him already.

You feel an unimaginable amount of loss and emptiness in your heart. A huge amount of guilt because maybe you should have just gone to visit when you said you would, or told him more that you loved him, or hugged him a little longer. I look at pictures and messages of him now and always regret not saying that I love him every single time I sent him a message.

Sadness for your mother who lost her husband she had been with for over 40 years. You can see when you look at her that she is thinking what is she possibly going to do now, without him.

I worry about her now, so heartbroken, May Allah grant her patience in her heart and allow her to heal with ease Insha Allah.

I choose to speak about him every chance I get because I don’t want to forget little things like his voice, laughter or smell and it helps me think about him all the time because when I do I always say a little prayer for him. It’s still so fresh though, the hurt, hopefully someday it will heal but I will never forget him, and I will ensure that my children will never forget him either.

I haven’t cried much since he died but I choose to remember him when he was alive and with us, knowing he loved his family so much rather than the sadness his death brings to our family.

May Allah grant my father Jannah tul Firdous and make his Qabr light for him Insha Allah.

12 Comments
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  2. Inshallah Ameen

  3. I am terribly sorry about your loss and my deepest condolences go out to you and your family. My dad passed nearly 12 years ago and I miss him every day. It is the talking about them and the memories that will keep him alive in your heart forever!

  4. Oh my friend…. I may have lost my mother, but 9 years later, even before her passing, my Father was always my hero. When I read anything about passing of fathers, I dont know what it would be like, I know I will eventually have to go through it, but I do not wish to ever feel that hurt again…
    Trust me, the hurt wont go away. An as i’ve said to many of my friends and family whose lost a parent.. The pain will become part of you. The ache and heavy feeling you get.. You know.. Not the one where you lost your first love, or a close family member, but that REAL HEAVY feeling on your chest, on your heart of a physical pain? You know what I’m talking about… It will subside. It grows part of you. It becomes normal. Your body will eventually adjust to compensate for that pain..

    Your dad passed the week before Father’s day… I was so upset – I cant even begin to imagine how you felt. In a way I was glad that I didnt get you or Kiefa an only your mommy and brother. I didnt want to see you in so much pain.

    Its not going to be an easy journey, especially all those ‘special days’ like birthdays, the Ramadaan, Eid…

    But Trust me. Trust in The Almighty. He will never put you through something that He knows you or your family will come out stronger and closer.

    I love you so much Bidi. I love your girls an I love the closeness of our relationship even if we dont see much of each other.

    Remember your daddy for all the good times, all the laughing, all the singing, all the good memories. There isnt a day that goes by when I dont think or miss my mommy.

    May The Almighty grant all deceased, your daddy, my mommy a hig place in Jannah Insha-Allah. May there always be light in their kubr. May all their sins be forgiven. May their legacy live on in our lives, and our childrens lives Insha-Allah. May Allah ease the pain for you and your family, may He put contentment in your hearts. You and your family are in my duahs always. May He guide and protect you and your family Insha-Allah.

    Love you too much to explain.

    • Gosh what a beautiful and sweet message, kyk hoe lekker chank ek nou lol. Thanks my friend. I was telling M o didnt know what you were going through when you lost your mom. I was there for you but i didnt know, then when it happened to me i was like aaahhhh ok, i get it now. Thank you for always being there. I love you too babe. Always x

  5. Insha allah Ameen…

  6. I started blogging because I lost my mom.Losing a parent makes you look at the world through very different eyes. You grow up. You have so much more compassion and a much deeper understanding. You become a different person. Stronger and more mature. The loss stays for a long time. And you learn to love more and deeper too. You suddenly start to truly realize the value of a parent. Your life is changed and if you are really lucky it makes you a better person. A better Muslim, a better wife, mother, daughter a better everything! I hope Allah will make it easy for you and your family Insha Allah.

    • I agree 100% with everything that you mentioned, you really don’t realize what you have lost until it happens to you. Shukran and In Sha Allah x

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